She’s Sassy

February 19, 2008

She’s sassy.  “She” as in “Me”. 

When people first meet me they sometimes think I’m this sweet little sheltered angel who grew up in a bubble.  Then again, I’ve also had people tell me they thought I was a stuck up snob (of course, before they actually talk to me). 

The snob thing is a tribute to my shyness and inability to create small talk.  I’m no good at it.  Once I get to know you better — my shy goes away and we’re all good.  Until my shy goes away I’m an awkward mess with no words for you.  I will try to avoid eye contact just so I won’t be forced into coming up with something to say.  Even if you try to strike up a conversation with me — it won’t work.  I’m such a dork that I’ll only be able to give you one or two word answers.  OR — I’ve also been known to ramble on and on and on twisting my reply in whatever direction I think will please you most.  You — the perfect stranger.

BUT ANYWAY…

Sometimes…

Sometimes I’m Sassy.  When I’m so flustered, I lose my shy.  I lose my shell.  I lose my mind!

My mouth has been known to get the best of me in certain situations. 

The other day at the mall, (a real one, not a local one) my 4 year old was acting like a 4 year old.  He was very upset and tired.  We were on our way out.  He let out a cry. 

A lady walking in front of us (with pants too short) turned around and gave me the gosh awfullest look that said something like…’can’t you control your child?’!!

I politely ignored her and kept going.

Then he let out another cry.  Mind you, we were on our way out already!!

This time I, politely, made jolly eye contact with her and said, “Hi!”.  I even gave a little wave.

I’ve been trying to teach Hubs the art of ‘woman talk’.  I’ve been showing him how the slightest of gestures in a woman’s world is worth half days conversation in a man’s world.  Every little thing done by a woman is for purpose or reason.  Thought has been put into it.  We are like that.  Whether we use our abilities for good or evil depends on the soul but we all use our abilities.

It’s like when my mil said my feet were probably bigger than my fil’s.  She meant so much more.  When what’s-her-face said, “…don’t worry…you’re fine.”  She didn’t mean I was fine.  When you asked a woman what’s wrong and she says, “Nothing.”  It’s something.

So I tried to explain to him that her ‘look’ wasn’t just a look.  She had words behind that look.  When she ‘looked’ again, I had words for her.

She knew all well that my, “Hi!” actually meant, “Who the heck are you to give me a look like that?  You can’t even dress yourself.  Your pants are too tight and above your ankles.  Your fake jewelry is green.  Your earrings are so gaudy that your earlobes are hanging down to your shoulders and that blue eyeshadow with racing red blush is not working for you!  And now…  And now you try to bully me into being a better mom because my 4 year old is acting his age?!  He’s not screaming in a tantrum.  He’s not yelling or fighting me.  He let out 2 cries because he’s tired of shopping and ready to leave.  Because of this, we were already leaving.  We’re all tired and ready to leave.  Seems as if you’d be better off to go home and re-dye your hair that awful jet black color than to concern yourself with how I’m raising my child.  You obviously have never had any of your own.  BUT if you did have any of your own then there’s no doubt in my mind why they are not with you right now! Hmph to you!”

She backed down with embarrassment.  She continued to walk off, pretending as if her ‘look’ meant nothing.  I knew better.

Hubs got a kick out of it.  Even after all these years, he’s still surprised to see me ‘bold’ with perfect strangers.  He still thinks I’m the nice sheltered angel who grew up in a bubble. 

HELLO?!?!  I know we barely knew each other when we got married but we’ve been married for several years.  If you don’t know me by now…

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s